Hello Dear Ones,
As September draws to a close and we fall into the rhythms of the final quarter of the year, with stores merchandizing for the holidays, and time skipping briskly past us with a merry wave, my mind snags on upcoming holiday socializing. The holidays are my favorite time of the year, but for an introvert it also means a lot of juggling rest and festivities, embracing merry celebrating time while resisting stress-inducing busyness.
I’m an introvert, but I’m not antisocial. This is an important distinction, I think. Introversion is defined by Webster as a “person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone” whereas antisocial is “averse to the society of others”.
Our culture seems increasingly antisocial, with faces glued to screens, and humor glorifying antisocial behaviors that lead to loneliness and isolation. As if that didn’t make it hard enough, there is the additional tiny detail that talking to people (let alone strangers) can be difficult. It feels awkward. Can often end with a stagnant trail off and side-shuffle away… (or maybe that’s just me.) But it is worthwhile, not only for the health of our brains and souls, but also as creatives trying to craft human interactions.
Knowing its importance, knowing I’m not good at it, and knowing it will grow me, I decided to start talking to strangers. So far, it hasn’t been as horrid as I imagined. Quite the contrary.
Recently, a man was dining alone at a pizza joint at a large table, so I asked if we could join at the other end. He agreed, my husband left to wash his hands, and I offered the man a smile. “I’ve never eaten here before,” he ventured. “But it’s good.” “I’ve never eaten here either,” I said, “We’re not local, are you?” And the conversation was off! My husband joined us mid-backstory, and for the next hour we learned about his life as a DJ/pilot and saw pictures of his puppy. Dan from New York, thank you for talking with us as strangers, and leaving as friends.
Then there was Joe at the museum, watching as people silently shuffled by, his face shifting from hopeful to disappointed every time someone wordlessly left his station. It only took one question of interest to light his face with a smile. Thank you, Joe, for sharing your passion for print-making, answering our questions, and sending us home with a free souvenir.
As a creative, these experiences inspire me to write quirky characters, the kind that are only believable because you’ve met them on the corner market. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, talking to strangers is hard, but I believe it is worth it. Better we be awkward and welcoming than antisocial and aloof. People are so much kinder, odder, and generally less scary than we (and the news) gives them credit for.
Until next time, I hope you enjoy this drop of sunshine.
Blessings,
Shelby
Quote to Ponder:
“What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others.” - French Proverb
What to Bake
Mixed Berry Cobbler - The. Best. And super easy to assemble too!
What to Listen To
Autumn Variations - Ed Sheeran’s seventh album releases tomorrow (Friday, Sept 29th)!
What to Read*
Stardust by Neil Gaiman - If you’ve seen the movie, the book will be a shock. But not necessarily in a bad way. If you haven’t seen the movie, read the book first, and then be pleasantly surprised by the intense cinematic changes. I’m forever in love with Neil Gaiman’s prose, his effortless storytelling, and his imagination. Stardust is a gem of a tale and one of the few where I recommend watching the movie too.
Question to Ponder:
When was the last time you had a fun exchange with a stranger?
Mine was this past weekend, as my husband and I discussed the color of a house and couldn’t decide if it was black, dark green, or navy blue. I asked a woman walking her dog what she thought, and it not only made us laugh watching her hem-and-haw between the three colors as well, but we also got to discuss with her and share the beauty of the colonial style building (and pet her dog, so… huge win.)
Until next time, wishing you sunshiny trails,
Shelby